Alternative careers for Moi!!

Since the day i left my job to sit at home for a couple of months, i have been paying a lot of attention to a whole lot of jobs available in the market. I believe that with the skills i already possess, i would be a shoo-in for those jobs. So this, my loyal audience (i hope you are out there), is my wish-list for the jobs i could do!!

1. Watchman at my aunt's apartments in Chennai - He comes in at around 10. Loafs around till 1, when he leaves for lunch. Being the great person that he is, lunch lasts for 2 hours. Back and on the job till 7, when he goes for dinner. His house is barely 10 minutes away, yet it takes him 2 hours for dinner too. Back at 9. Mooches about for another half hour. Then its Bye! bye!
I can mooch around. I eat sloooowly, so lunch and dinner can be done in 2 hours. I can stand around doing nothing for hours.

2. My dad's driver - Aaah, privileged life! I wish i had his life. Comes in at 8.30, drives dad to work. On most days, dad stays in office and doesn't travel. Dad leaves at around 8 from work, driver is back home by 9. Now comes the best part. Driver gets Sundays off, guaranteed. If missed, he gets a comp-off the next week. (Even i didn't get such comp-offs so diligently!!). Salary is awesome. Perks are even better. For every hour delay, dad pays him. Sometimes, as much as 100 to 200 bucks!!! Long annual leaves, nice and easy work-load (Read: he sleeps all day in the car), a very nice and pleasant family to work with. What more do you need from a job?
So, i can sleep all day (if the job so requires), love extra money and don't mind leaves!! Of course, i don't know how to drive, but that is neither here nor there!!

3. Bus-driver or conductor - In 4 lines: I can be rude. It is expected. No one will mind. Whatay life!!!

4. Neighborhood vegetable vendor - Lugs around veggies all day in the sun. Sells veggies for astronomical price. Goes for vacation to village every 3 months!

5. Auto driver in chennai - Now this is a job that has been a secret for centuries. In a revelation that will shake the world and turn it upside down, inside out and what not, i proceed to let in on it. Of course, to become an auto driver in Chennai you should answer this question in the affirmative: Do you want to become a multi-millionaire before the first hair on your head turns grey? I assume you said yes. I did too! All you do is buy an auto or join the union or whatever, and there you are. You don't have to know the answers to a lot of weird questions, invest yours or others' money in strange funds or pretty much use any bit of your brain whatsoever. You just sit in your auto, all pretty and cool, the passenger (or bait) walks up to you. And that's it. distances of about 200 meters: You can charge anywhere from 20 to 30 bucks. Half a kilometer merits 40 bucks. After that, the charges straight away jump to the next slab: Rs 200. Blanket charge. And it can only go up! I paid 200 for a 10km distance. 100 for a 4 kilometer distance.
I want this job now!